progesterone

Got my blood test results back yesterday afternoon. Not so good. my hCG is great for 6 weeks (nearly 10,000!) but my progesterone is dangerously low at only 9.5. I'm so pissed right now. I'm tired of everything being so hard. 14 year olds get knocked up all the time and do a bunch of drugs and have prefectly healthy pregnancies. I don't understand why every single aspect of having a child together has to be so hard for O and I. I really thought we were over the complicated stuff, the heartbreak. We made it to 6 weeks! We're supposed to be on the other side now...

I'm just so exhausted. I feel like I can't handle one more thing. I'm just exhausted. I can't think about money or housing or family or planning or anything. I just want to sleep and sleep for days and days. If I sit down for more than five minutes I fall asleep. Yesterday O had his first RCIA meeting and I came home from work planning to make him dinner before he left and the next thing I know he's waking me up to say goodbye. I'd slept for almost 2 hours. And I'm not a napper, in fact I never nap. But here I am, falling asleep on the toilet. I know I should try and limit my stress right now, especially since I'm so tired all the time, but O and I are both terrified we're going to lose the baby.

I've been spotting since saturday. and the cramps are getting worse.

So apparently the only way to try and give my progesterone a boost is by using these hormone suppositories. Sorry to get graphic here, but I basically have to stuff my hoo-ha twice a day with this crazy progesterone goo. and here I thought I was done with maxi-pads for the next 9 months... and I'm now on "pelvic rest" want to guess what that means?

That's not even the worst part, the worst part is that when I went to the pharmacy to pick it up they said they didn't have it in stock because it's so expensive. How expensive? $300 for a box of 15 suppositories.

Then I made the mistake of asking the pharmacy tech to explain what it's used for and how often because my doctor didn't really explain anything to me, just told me over the phone that I needed progesterone ASAP and she was going to call in a scrip. So what does the pharmacy tech say? "it's for infertility. you inject it in the vagina."

I can only blame what happened next on pregnancy hormones. and stress. and the fact that I'm not supposed to have to deal with any of this. "Actually," I basically yelled at her, "I'm 6 weeks pregnant. So it's definitely NOT for infertility. AND I find it really insensitive that you'd give inaccurate information to someone who is clearly having a difficult time understanding her perscription. I mean, your job's not that hard. You figure out what medicines are used for what, and you tell people that information. You don't tell someone WHO'S ALREADY PREGNANT that she needs infertility treatment, ok?"

I would have felt bad for her if she didn't look all bratty and completely unmoved. "so do you want the perscription or not? because we have to order it so it won't be here till after 4 tomorrow. In cases like this we always make sure it's within your pricepoint."

Of course I want it. What else am I supposed to do?