keeping secrets and planning

Yesterday was my niece's first birthday and so my whole family was over at Liz's house. It was embarassingly hard not to say anything. Every time I opened my mouth I felt like the words were going to fall out but luckily I was able to resist by constantly pestering my sister about getting preggers again. I think it would be kind of neat to have a pregnancy buddy.

For a while I was kind of bummed that everyone basically gives Liz baby goods hand-over-fist just because she's the only person in our family with kids. I got kind of irate with my mom when I saw her giving Liz baby clothes that I wore. But now that I'm actually pregnant I sort of live in fear of dread the day that people start thinking it's acceptable to give me all their hand-me-downs. I don't want to be snooty, but it's my first baby. I want to get her cute new stuff. I'm not going to go crazy and shop-athon myself out (and honestly we can't afford that anyway) but I really want the opportunity to make things nice for her homecoming. And, it being our first, we're not at the point where we really need more stuff anyway.

I think O and I are already visually rearranging our apartment. We were debating the other night whether we'd put the crib in our bedroom or clear out the "TV room" (the other bedroom). Although I like the idea of having a nursery, I know if I'm breastfeeding the baby will pretty much be sleeping in our room the first few months anyway. And besides I really like not having a TV in the living room. So i don't know. But we just resigned our lease for the next year, so we're definitely not moving til next september, so we'll have to figure something out...