i'm trying very hard to control my hormones...

so my cousin apparently found this blog. my other blog Disgraced Life is linked to my facebook, and O follows that blog, so my cousin went to my blog through facebook and saw O followed it, so she clicked on his profile and saw that he has a blog and clicked on that, then on his blog she found the link to this blog. seems like a lot of effort to me, but i'm flattered more than anything else. did i mention this happened at 2AM?

really, ok, i get it that this is a public blog and anyone has the right to read it, but my parents and family aren't very technological so i didn't think it would be a problem. and besides, the purpose of this blog is so that other people can read it (eventually).

so she sends me this message on facebook that was very sweet and all like, "lot of women in our family go through this" and "i'm here for you" etc etc. ok, not a problem. so i sent her a message saying essentially, "O and I don't have any announcements for the family right now, so please use your discretion and respect our privacy." then i said "PS- if this gets around the family or takes away my ability to share the news i've been looking forward to sharing for a long time now, i will not be able to forgive you."

then the shit hit the fan. she was all like, "don't worry i'll avoid you from now on" so i said "don't do that, that's crazy..."

then she started updating her FB status to things like "just wanted to help and it got thrown in my face" so i sent her another message that said, "really, we're cool. no hard feelings. O and I are going through a difficult time, we don't want to discuss it. please stop making a big deal out of it" so then she ignored that and posted on our other cousin's wall "call me traci, we need to talk about something."

awesome. really fucking awsome.

isn't it just crazy that i don't want to tell my family yet?

so now my dilemma is this, this cousin is extremely dramatic and i know she's going to tell her sister, and probably our other cousin. and it's going to leak out around the family. so, do i tell my parents before i'm ready just so that i can be the one to tell them? or do i say, fuck her and keep quiet but risk my family hearing the news i've been looking forward to telling them from someone else?

hmm, decisions decisions....