8 weeks, 3 days

I've decided this baby has to be a boy. If it's a girl, it's clearly the most mellow baby girl pregnancy on the planet. I feel great, honestly. I've only thrown-up a handful of times and I'd chalk that up to nerves, anxiety, not taking my vitamins with food, or just waiting too long to eat. My nausea hasn't been that bad. It's really more like I have bad PMS than a baby. I wrote this post about it on my internet birthboard and everyone was like, "I'll trade you! I've been throwing up for weeks." It's not like I want to be sick or have these wildly insane symptoms, but it would be nice to have some physical proof that there is, indeed, a baby in there and not just some bad bloat. I had acne the first few weeks, but even that has started to go away and my skin looks pretty good. Right now my worst pregnancy symptoms are sweating a hair growth. I'm sorry, but in the interest of full disclosure I have to tell you something, in my pre-preggo life I didn't wear deodorant every day. Maybe not even every other day. I know, it's gross, but really I don't sweat. Ever. I think it has something to do with being hypothyroid, but I just don't sweat. And all the aluminum and chemicals in deodorant were scary so I just put baby powder under my arms after a shower and that was that. These days I'm going to the prescription strength Secret with the no sweat guarantee and I still have to reapply in mid-afternoon most days. I now sweat, a lot. It's uncomfortable and gross and kind of makes me feel like a barnyard animal. Also, again probably due to being hypothyroid, I am not very hairy. I shave my legs once, maybe twice a week, and I pretty much never have to go above the knee. Gross, I know, but I just wasn't hairy. Now I'm like a sasquatch if I miss day. and forget about my underarms, I'd shave every hour if I could. Yesterday I actually plucked a fucking chin hair! A real chin hair! Like a fat old greek lady! unreal...

But those 2 inconveniences are nothing compared to what other preggos have to go through. It's nothing really. In fact, it's not really abnormal to sweat and grow hair every day, my thyroid was just so bad that I never did. This is probably how most women feel all the time.

Anyway, I suppose my lack of symptoms can also have something to do with the fact that I'm thrilled to be pregnant. I have at one time or another experienced the full range. I've been so fatigued for days and weeks that it felt like I was living in a fog. I think maybe my excitement and happiness has given me a kind of selective amnesia about all the bad stuff. I keep calling this an "easy" pregnancy, but I forget the terror of week five when I was spotting so heavily I was convinced the baby must have passed. I forget that every night I have to inject progesterone and deal with the sweats and peeing every 30 mins that comes with synthetic hormone usage. I forget that I keep saltines next to the bed because every time I get up to use the bathroom I have to eat something or I'll get dizzy. I forget the crippling caffeine withdrawal headaches and how much I miss deli sandwiches and brie cheese, how I spent the better part of this year avoiding carbs and starches and now all I want to eat is potatoes and white bread.  I forget all these things whenever someone asks me how I feel because I'm just so elated to be pregnant. I take a quick inventory and say, "great! amazing even!" because I can't believe my body is actually making another person right now. I mean, already at 8 weeks he's already formed. He has all of his organs and a whole circulatory and nervous system. All he has to do for the next 7 months is grow bigger and develop. It's crazy to me.

O and I walk around most days full of wonder and amazement. It's all we think about, this little person; This second heart in my body. We cannot believe how lucky we are that he chose us to be his parents. It's like every single day we have to remind ourselves there's a baby in there, it's real. O is always reading prenatal books and picking up magazines for me. I just feel supernaturally lucky to have this life right now: my unbelievable husband, my amazing baby, our crazy life and big family. We keep asking ourselves how we got here. I don't know what to call it other than luck, I certainly did nothing to deserve this. I can't possibly imagine how anything could get better.